my insurance doesn’t cover a lot of procedures, tests, and experiences that me and some members of my health team think are needed for me to MANAGE, let alone overcome, the severe mental illness I have that manifests as symptoms associated with MANY mental and physical illnesses.

How bout that inflammation caused by trauma? Can’t get a covered session for childhood healing imma do it for myself.

Some of experiences are more experimental and since you gotta be at a place where you can heal for many things, some inner work requires a lot of Prior Work by the person – I guess some people can just show up and get fixed without the pathway there but I understand why it’s not easily replicated in medical settings.

So I am and have been taking what I can into my own hands and mind.

Yesterday, I was coloring in a large repeating pattern stencil and a situation I had forgotten memory came back.
I don’t know whose house it was. It was falling apart with a big porch and back steps I was afraid I’d fall right through. I just remember waiting and waiting and waiting for the person I was with for so long I finally gave up and left. It was winter and I almost froze to death. I can still smell the thick smell of dusty dog and dog poop mess.

“things I didn’t mean to get at the same time but it’s kind of funny that I did” (the first one is stencils for arting but it fits the theme that forms with the book lolol)

I don’t expect to fix all of my illnesses but I do expect to fix some of them.


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