I don’t see my mom’s side of the family very often.
A lot of us are dealing with *something*. Whatever the *something* is keeps us apart. There’s a few different kind of somethings.

Some of my mom’s side arranged getting together for one of my aunt’s birthdays. She used to watch me and 2 sisters when we were kids. I don’t have a lot of memories of her, mostly just her sitting in a kitchen chair at the Warren house…

one memory, of not a single event, that I see in my minds eye, all the time, is her laying down on her side, and she would lift her arm up, and start rolling her shoulder around, letting her arm do giant loops, playing with gravity.

I find myself with my arm lifted, looping around and playing with gravity, frequently. When I realize i am doing it, I see my aunt, with the sun shining through the doorwall on her at the Warren house, and the breeze blowing her hair, and she’s sharing a big hearty laugh.

Trying to emotionally prepare myself. Even just for her mental state. I don’t think she will remember me. I have been very fortunate to have had a series of stressful days with insomnia that help make emotional regulation super easy /s. It’s not about me. My state does not matter.


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