Clearing Something Up

Ok. Clearing something up since people keep telling me maybe I’m freaking myself out with my heart stuff.

Yes. I am an actual hypochondriac. Years of doctors not diagnosing you correctly will do that, including missing items that are very physically obvious, like an actual broken fucking bone.

Yes. I experience a lot of anxiety and anxiety attacks as well as panic attacks and generalized anxiety as well as a shit ton of different kinds of ocd related anxiety which is sort of blowing my mind to realize right now.

Yes. I am paranoid and neurotic and meet the definition of mentally ill in a variety of ways.

I also had blood pressure related issues during pregnancy that put me on bed rest and caused complications. I first experienced whatever these nervous system episodes are – resulting in dizziness and confusion – in 2014. ::Editing to add:: I also had a severe uterine infection that almost killed me and hospitalized me for a long period of time less than a month after Desmond’s birth. And then I went into work, with Desmond with me.

I know I have undiagnosed nerve issues resulting from pregnancy because of several very obvious items. My concerns have always been ignored or hushed as no biggie.

I strongly feel going on that 14 mile walk at the beginning June stressed my nervous system out to a point that existing damage was exacerbated. My large purse was very heavy – it really was a lot of weight, and I did not consume any water during that walk, I had one small meal that day, and it was hot. My body was also additionally stressed by a broken fucking bone that I did not relent on.

Whatever these episodes are, they have been increasing in both frequency and severity since that time.

My doctor has confirmed that my heart rate is having extreme changes between standing and sitting, and documented low blood pressure can cause anxiety, mood issues, even confusion and frustration.

This explanation is the result of multiple people telling me that I am just stressing myself out and once I calm down things will just get better.

I just happened to be in the process of diagnostics and starting treatment for mental illness and neurological issues at the same time that these issues are getting worse.


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